Many of us are probably living with our families during this pandemic, and this can be difficult if we are a part of a family which is dysfunctional. We might have spent a lot of time and energy trying not to be in this situation and feel like we have taken a step in reverse, by moving back and being in that same space. This can be triggering and emotionally exhausting because not only are we coping with the global pandemic and its impact on our lives but also simultaneously being forced to revisit our past traumas.
There isn’t an easy solution to this problem, but there certainly are ways through which we can cope and things we can do to make the process easier. Therapy is one such way, we can help get through these difficult times, as it will allow us to express, explore and cope with overwhelming emotions, while dedicating that time for yourself! This can go a long way when you find your boundaries being challenged by your family, which can be the case in most dysfunctional households. Apart from the fact that therapy has become a lot more accessible in light of the pandemic, there are also different formats of therapy you can opt for, if privacy is a concern for you. These include therapy via chat, email, tele/on-call or video. If you fear that someone might hear your sessions, you can discuss a code word with your therapist beforehand, to prevent this from happening. The primary goal is to alleviate your mental and emotional pain/distress, and have the space to express and process your feelings.
It can really be helpful to find your safe space, both physically and mentally; this could be your terrace, backyard, or even the bathroom during times of distress. Reading and understanding about the patterns of dysfunction present in your family, can help you become aware, and you can then consciously try to avoid conflict as much as possible.
You don’t have to go through this alone and there are helplines that you can reach out to if there is an emergency. In case you do not want to report it, even talking to a professional can help you come up with a safety plan or strategies for yourself, to handle a similar situation in the future. This can also simply just be a way for you to feel supported and heard.
If you know anyone who might be stuck in situations of abuse or neglect of any sort, try checking in with them. These can be people who work for you, people who work with you, neighbors, watchmen, whoever you can reach out to, keeping in mind the pandemic protocols. We belong to a society where stigma is high and a lot goes unnoticed, under-reported and swept under the rug because of legal systems and authorities that are not entirely trustworthy. Thereby, making it imperative that we, as individuals, look out for each other in this time of global distress.
If you want to understand more about dysfunction in families and what they may look like, you can check our article on ‘Adverse Childhood Experience (ACE)’.
If you or any of your loved ones are experiencing distress, you can reach out to our team of Mental Health Professionals by mailing us at hermovemeant@gmail.com or book an appointment with us through our Contact Us form on this website.
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Love and Light!
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