September 10th is observed as World Suicide Prevention Day, so we’re here to talk about suicide and highlight some things that are overlooked.
Suicide is neither an act of cowardice nor an act of heroism. It sometimes seems like the only solution to a seemingly unsolvable problem or never ending mental/emotional or physical pain. Because of this, tragically a lot of people attempt/die by suicide.
Some people believe that one must have a mental illness or perhaps may have experienced a triggering event before acting on their suicidal ideations. But more often than not, it is a combination of multiple aspects or the persistence of a particular situation that leads an individual with suicidal ideations to attempt it.
Statistics - India
India covers 28% of the global suicide rate. It is the second leading cause of death among young people between the ages of 15 and 29. In India, statistically, the southern states have the highest suicide rates across all the genders while the northern states have the lowest. (Source: NCRB)
Now it is important to note that this data only takes into consideration the reported suicides, but a lot of them go unreported. This brings us to the question, ‘what do we really know about suicide’, barring the enormous amounts of stigma that surrounds it?
Why does it go unreported?
In India, suicide generally goes unreported for a number of reasons, apart from the social stigma attached to it. In addition to the legal requirements and the process of reporting, suicide becomes painful and traumatising for the survivors of suicide, as they are faced with unsympathetic police officers as well as the investigations of death. Media’s insensitivity towards suicide adds to the emotional distress. In many cases, the suicide notes along with the methods used are published in papers and reported in news channels, which disrespect the privacy of the both the deceased as well as the survivors of suicide.
Died by suicide vs ‘committed’ suicide
‘Died by suicide’ instead of ‘committed suicide’; this change in how we talk about or report a suicide is important, because the word ‘committed’ has implications related to crimes. Up until 2014, suicide was considered to be a crime in India. And yet, after all these years, criminalizing this painful choice of suicide, by using the word ‘committed’, is wrong. It will only instill more fear and will not help reduce it in the long run. It would create more problems for the individual as well as for the survivors of suicide. This would also lead to strengthening the stigma around suicide.
Suicide is preventable
8 out of 10 individuals who attempt suicide give some form of warning signs. These can be verbal cues or their writings or their behavior. It can be difficult to talk about suicide. Linguists say that it’s even harder to talk about than sex. People experiencing suicidal thoughts might not directly say it, but hint at it with statements that express rejection, hurt, and feelings of unworthiness or helplessness. Some of the behavioral signs include withdrawing from others, talking about death and dying, writing their will, giving away prized possessions, closing their bank account. It is okay to bring it up and talk about it with them, but in the right way. We need to be empathetic to their pain and not pass comments or judgements to what they’re feeling. We can encourage them to talk to a professional about what they are going through, in case we don’t feel confident about the way forward to help them. Suicide is rarely an impulsive act, but is usually a premeditative act.
What can we do if we know someone who is suicidal?
Ask. Listen. Validate. Acknowledge. Refer.
Help can come in any form and through any person. All that matters is that we break the stigma around it and begin to ask the right questions, when we notice any form of distress in another person. It is a myth that asking someone if they are having suicidal thoughts, can trigger their intent for it. When we ask important questions, we open a safe space for communication and reduce anxiety around it.
Some questions that we can ask to reach out, are:
Are you thinking about ending your life?
Are you having suicidal thoughts?
If you are having suicidal thoughts, would you please talk to me about it?
Avoid questions that come across as judgements:
You aren’t thinking about suicide, right?
Are you telling me that you are thinking about ending your life?
You have everything you want, so why are you thinking about suicide?
Offering an open and non-judgmental space, for people to share their feelings, can help reduce their anxiety. Listen to them with an open heart and open mind. Give them your full attention and make them feel heard.
If someone is sharing their concerns with you, know that they are coming from a vulnerable space. Do not disregard/ label their sharing as “dramatic”, “lame” or “asking for attention”. Instead, validate their experience and empathise with them. Acknowledge their emotions and how difficult their situation must be. Even though you cannot feel their exact pain, let them know that you are there to support and help them through their journey.
It is also important to acknowledge your own needs, while you are interacting with a person having suicidal thoughts. Remember that you are only human and you can also get overwhelmed while trying to help your loved ones. With their permission, you can suggest and refer them to a mental health professional, who can actively help them with their distress.
What is QPR training?
One other way to notice/help a person in distress is to undergo the QPR Gatekeeper Training. You don’t need to be a mental health professional to be eligible for this training. It is a training module to aid an individual to recognize the signs, clues and suicidal communications of people who are in distress and equip them with the necessary intervention strategies. You can learn how to talk to and identify someone who expresses suicidal ideations and how to deal with your own response to it.
Click here to know more about QPR Gatekeeper Training.
Incase of emergency, here is a link to Suicide Prevention Helpline Directory (India) gathered by AASRA:
DISCLAIMER: This blog is created ONLY for information purpose and NOT for self diagnosis. There is a lot more to the concerns we talk about here. In case you identify with these experiences in your or your loved ones life, please reach out to a mental health professional or our team at HerMoveMeant, for further assistance.
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